I’ve never felt like a very significant person. When it comes down to it, I’m really not that memorable or that different from the next girl. But, just now, as I rocked my beautiful son to sleep in my arms, I felt like the most important person in the world. Maybe because to him, I am. To him, right now, my husband and I are the most important people on earth. He needs us, and with every passing day I see just how much we need him too. He is changing me. He is helping me see the world in a brand new light. I look at strangers and love them, because they were once somebody’s baby. I look into my son’s big beautiful innocent eyes and I hope that the world is kind to him, which in turn, makes me want to be kinder to others. I have been able to feel more love in the past three weeks than I ever thought possible, which has helped me understand just a tiny bit more just how much love Heavenly Father must have for us. This little boy’s spirit is strong, and knowing that I have been entrusted to care for him and teach him is helping me to realize that I in fact, AM significant. I matter, and I am important.

Motherhood has been different than I expected. Better in some ways, worse in others. The monotony of staying home and caring for an infant is enough to drive a person crazy. It’s quiet and kinda lonely sometimes, and I feel so busy! At the end of the day when the house is a mess, I haven’t showered, and my stomach is growling from hunger pains I look back and don’t know where they day went. I guess between feedings (both mine and his), naps (again, both mine and his), diaper changes and everything else that comes with caring for a baby, time just flies! That part of motherhood is hard…feeling like I never have time and feeling stinky and tired (oh SO so tired)…yes, that part of it is hard. But motherhood is like the mission. Missionary work is really, REALLY hard! And about 98% of a missionary’s hard work is unsuccessful! But all you need is ONE glimpse of hope…teaching one person how to pray, or helping one person feel the spirit and all of a sudden you want to be a missionary for the rest of your life! It’s the same with motherhood. All my little boy has to do is look into my eyes, and suddenly I don’t feel so stinky or exhausted. I forget about all the dirty dishes and the piles of laundry still undone, and I am filled with perfect happiness. It takes very little from that little man to make me so very grateful that I am now and forever a mother. That part of motherhood has been much, much better than I expected. I seriously love it.

I feel overwhelmed with gratitude to my Heavenly Father for blessing me with more than I feel I deserve. Just now as I was holding my son, feeling his chest rise and fall against mine as he slept, I felt like falling to my knees to thank Heaven for my life right now. I couldn’t do that because I was holding a sleeping baby, but I did look up and shed a few tears of gratitude while whispering a quiet “thank you” to my Father. Then I set my little boy down so I could write a little about how I was feeling. I don’t ever want to forget this time. I know it is precious, and I am thankful for it. Between my perfect boy, my loving husband, and the gospel that binds us together, I feel like the most divinely blessed girl in the world. Heaven is truly smiling down on me and my little family, and I am bursting at the seams with happiness and gratitude.